I Don't Have a Problem. It's Just That My Habit Has Started Running the Show.

Let's say you have a habit. Something you enjoy. It helps you unwind, forget about work, bills, your boss or life's other little pleasures. Maybe it's alcohol, gambling, a substance or a behaviour that seemed harmless enough at first.

Until one day, you notice that this habit has started making quite a few decisions for you. When. How much. With whom. How much money. And sometimes, whether you can actually afford it.

Of course, you're still in control. At least according to your internal PR department.

When Does a Habit Become a Problem?

Not every instance of substance use means addiction, and not every repeated behaviour is an addictive disorder. But some warning signs are worth noticing:

• You promise yourself today will be different. Tomorrow, you make the same promise.
• You start negotiating with yourself: "Just a little", "Just today", "Monday, I'm done".
• You continue despite problems in your relationships, work, health or finances.
• More and more of your time revolves around the substance or behaviour.
• You start hiding things. Or explaining them so convincingly you could practically give a conference talk on the subject.
• You feel increasingly uncomfortable when you can't engage in that habit.

These signs aren't a diagnosis on their own. But if some sound familiar, perhaps it's time to ask a different question. Instead of "Am I addicted?", try: "What's happening in my life, and why is it so difficult to do things differently?"

Right. So What Do I Do Now?

The good news is you don't have to figure everything out on your own. The even better news? There's more than one way forward.

You can start with addiction counselling to understand what's happening, what purpose the behaviour serves and what options for change are available. You may need a medical or psychiatric assessment, particularly if physical dependence, withdrawal symptoms or other health problems are involved. Psychotherapy can help address associated psychological difficulties, while support groups offer the opportunity to connect with people facing similar experiences.

Sometimes these approaches work best together. No, there's no magic formula. Disappointing, I know.

What Actually Happens in Addiction Counselling?

First of all, it's not a courtroom. You're not there to be interrogated, told off or handed a list of everything you've done wrong. You're there to understand what's happening: what role the substance or behaviour plays in your life, what triggers it, what keeps it going, what you've already tried and what you'd like to be different.

In my practice, I propose an initial process of at least six sessions. Not because six is a magic number, but because we need time to understand the situation, identify resources and begin working towards concrete goals. Afterwards, we review your progress together and decide on the next steps.

When necessary, counselling can be part of a broader process involving a psychiatrist or other professionals. It doesn't replace medical treatment or psychotherapy when these are indicated.

Important: If you regularly consume large amounts of alcohol or use sedatives such as benzodiazepines, stopping suddenly can cause dangerous withdrawal symptoms. Seek medical advice before discontinuing use.

What If I'm Not Ready to Change?

Then we can start right there. Not everyone arrives at their first conversation with a firm decision, a detailed plan and unshakeable motivation. Sometimes part of you wants things to change, while another part isn't convinced at all.

That's understandable. Change isn't an on/off switch. Counselling can also be a place to explore that ambivalence without being pushed into decisions you're not ready to make.

Do I Have to Lose Everything Before Asking for Help?

No. And it would be a shame to make suffering an admission requirement.

You don't need to hit rock bottom, have your life completely fall apart or wait for someone else to tell you things have gone too far. Perhaps you're still functioning well in many areas of your life. Perhaps nobody suspects a thing. That doesn't make your questions any less important.

You don't have to wait for something to collapse before you start building differently.

And if you've read this far, perhaps there's already a question worth exploring. You don't need to find the answer right now. But you don't have to keep postponing it indefinitely, either.

We Can Start With a Conversation.

I work with adults and adolescents in addiction counselling, providing a professional, confidential and non-judgemental setting. You don't need to know exactly what to do before reaching out. We can start by clarifying your situation and exploring what kind of support might be appropriate.

Find out more about Addiction Counselling.

Veronica Țurlea — Addiction Counsellor